How I did it...

Story Coaching

by Pamela Hanks

Doug Lipman's Story Coaching workshop in November 2005 was a turning point in my storytelling. A community that had felt so closed, suspcious, and untouchable, became open, friendly, and reachable. In addition, I found a way to improve my stories without falling flat on my face during a performance. I found Story Coaching. In the past year, my performances have become more polished and I have felt more confident in my abilities to perform consistently.

I began by writing down a list of 10 people I would like to story coach with. While many of them were fellow participants in the Doug Lipman workshop, I also included those who had not been able to be there. I began asking them if they would like to practice their stories with me. I gave myself permission to not be discouraged if someone wasn't interested in working with me. Soon I had more appointments than time.

Most of the people on this list began meeting with me once a month. We got together either at their house or mine and started a timer. For 30 minutes I would be a delighted listener. It was the other person's time and they were in charge. I listened for what I liked about their storytelling or their ideas. When they asked for feedback, I told them what I liked. When they asked a question it was my job to say, "I wonder what would happen if..." or "I didn't understand this part of the story." Since it wasn't my story, I could not tell them how to make the story better. In Doug's workshop, he made it clear that if all you did was tell the storyteller what you liked, the time would be well spent. After 30 minutes of being the listener, I would get 30 minutes to be the storyteller.

My stories started to develop and become solid. Instead of creating a story for a venue, I started to tell my polished stories at venues. The more story coaching I did, the more confident I became with my stories.

Over time, I have found people who have been a great support for me. Some are such amazing friends and story coaches that they pull the best out of me. My stories have changed and developed into something I could not have done on my own.

One day in October 2006, I arrived at my daughter's kindergarten class and received a request from the teacher to tell a story. Such an impromtu request 12 months earlier would have pushed my stomach into my throat. But I confidently pulled out a story that I have told so many times in and out of story coaching sessions over the past year, that I could deliver it without fear or apprehension.

Now in other aspects of my life, I say, "Tell me what you like and I'll keep it in." I know when I focus on what is working, what isn't working just starts to dissappear.